Your love is like bad medicine

3:05PM - Why don't you

Just go ahead and tell me now so I can stop thinking about it.


**EDIT** I want to do what is right but I don't know where to begin

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: devil went down to georgia- The Charlie Daniels Band

3:56PM - whippa

Wow we actually agreed on something. Interesting, very interesting.

Well in other news I think that I might be able to talk my mum into getting my car out of the shop. Well I hope so. That'd be awesome if I finally got it out. Ah yes the perfect surfers car. I shall post pics of it. And its name shall be Betsy. lol.

Jordon is over, its always a fun when hes over. We have the most indepth convo's. Like heart to heart stuff, kinda weird. Never thought that I would have a friend that was a guy that I could talk to about anything, idk.


So I don't think that I'm going to move. I believe that I should be able to spread the Gospel around to ppl that I live around before I spread it around to ppl I don't even know. But I will go back to visit and stuff.

Current mood: indifferent

Current music: ice ice baby- vanilla ice

1:32AM - look something stupid

How will you DIE?
Name / Username
You will die	in an accident
At age	71
This QuickKwiz by Confused_Pete - Taken 483049 Times. </a>

New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology and Horoscopes

Current mood: crazy

Current music: what was I thinking- Dierks Bentley

3:35PM - who gives a rat's ass

Ok to the people on Livejournal who actually care how people spell things, i don't! I could honestly give a rat's ass about how i spell something as long as the person that i left the comment for understands what i mean.

So stefstef  go fuck yourself, bc i don't care about typos. Seriously go get a life!!!!!

Current mood: hungry

Current music: american idiot- green day

5:44PM - i wanna car

I'm like really pushing my mom to get me a car. And shes like procastinating about ot, i mean i got the money and all its just she won't take me to go get the car i want(stupid parents). I'm really going to need a car bc next week(i think) i move to a different job site, and its the opposite direction from where she works. She works DT and i'll be working out towards the beach. UH! Hmmmmmm, Maybe tonight i'll con her into it, yes i think i shall reamind her about the job site and that should dot he trick, but those of you who know who my mom is, PLEASE I BEG OF YOU! To go tell her to get me a freaking car! Ok, well i think i'm done here.

Current mood: curious

Current music: The middle- jimmy eat world

10:37AM - HMMMM, she does have a point

You know there was something said by some one about my last comment, and no its not erica,"the jared", or you jodi, it was actually by somebody i don't even know and you know they made like perfect sense, truthfully i still think that "love" is over rated, but what she said made some real sense. I would like to just put that out there.

Well today so far has been a bust. I was called into work, and i sit there for like and hour and half, and for those of you who don't know what i do, i do tiling, which i really didn't mind getting called in, but i didn't have keys to any of the tool boxes, so i couldn't do anything. So i sat there for ever like i said already. So i finally was like forget this, i called my boss half a million times. I just don't understand why people have cell fones if they don't answer them. Well i think i have the rest of the off, which is awesome.

OH man i was about to write some thing really teeny. Good thing i stopped myself and came back to reality.

Current mood: contemplative

Current music: your disease- salivia

2:51PM

Theres something that has been bugging me for a while. And that is when some one around my age is talking about how much they "love" some one. WTF?! Seriously i don't know what 16 yr old knows anything about "love", or people younger than me. Seriously "love" now a days is just an excuse to have sex. It just blows my mind when i hear some one my age or younger talking about "love", like they actually know what it is. Maybe its just me, i don't know. Personally i think that "love" is over rated. And if your going to have sex, go have sex don't tell the person that you "love" them and then have sex, i mean my god. I'm so going to get it from some people.....LOL, but i don't care.

Current mood: satisfied

Current music: praise- sevendust

6:49PM

You know if you sit somewhere long enough the whole world will just simply pass you by.
I wonder how true this statement is.
One can only truely wonder.
I feel so depressed and yet i don't know why.
I seem to think about something and that makes me wander about whats going to happen down the road.
I mean i just can't get past the issue, maybe i should just buck up and think about other things.
But alas i always seem to return to that thought at the end of the day,
It pleagues me so.
I think i'm just going to break into a million pieces,
But why is it that i get this way?
I wish i knew

Current mood: distressed

Current music: its been awhile- stained

12:21PM

I so had to work today and my boss was going to pick me up and everything, my boss is cool. Ya well he never came, or i never heard him at the door. Well he called and my fone was on silent, and so i missed his call(shit), so i don't know if i'm going to have my job. I've been slacking off at work and then i miss a day? This doesn't look good. But i might have to work tomorrow. Which suxs some major booty.

There is one thing that is going on very very very strangely in my life though. Like my best friend(which is a girl, i wonder why?) i think likes me, i mean i would love to believe that. But its doubtful, but anyways back to i was talking about, ya like the other day i was hang with some friends and she gave me a call and everyone was asking me who it was and she was like tell them its yo g/f, but that sounds silly, but its not the first time that, that has happened, and our "friendship" is a rather wierd one at that, so i wonder what this all means.

Current mood: curious

Current music: The middle- jimmy eat world

8:36PM - Have you seen my baseball?

Great news guys i found a sweet car and ya well i can afford it! And what not better than to have a first car that comes stock with a TURBO! And yes its manual and even better yet it has like 205 or 210 bhp, for those of you who don't know what BHP is, its Base Horse Power, dang talk about flying, HAHAHA, no longer will it take me for ever and a day to get some where(stupid truck). And i'm going to make it even faster, and the best part of all of this is that i'm going to challenge this guy i know that says that no import can beat a mustang, HAHAHA i laugh in your face, bc my car with its sweet self can beat his mustang with just its BHP, i laugh at your futal attempt to try to beat me, stupid V6, MORE POWER TO THE 4 BANGERS! Ah yes the beautiful ability to beat some one so ignorant, ah its a gift from God. But unfortionately i can not purchase this incredibly sweet car until about mid november, or even worse later than that if my boss lowers my pay, bc i'm slacking(i hated our convo about that earlier today). Well guys its been real and i think that i'm going to get my mom and grab some serious grub. Wait i just realized that my mom has the food and is taking her sweet time getting back with it, she shall be punished for her insolince.

Current mood: hungry

Current music: cold hard bitch- jet

4:51PM - Why do i even try anymore?

Some people are like brick walls, they are impossible to get through to. But i really wish i could get over this all, but you know what some people just don't look beyond things, but i'm still on this thing, but i need to move on to new things and keep going the distance, going for speed. GOsh i really like that song, i wish i knew who sings it, or what its called.

Current mood: thoughtful

Current music: watching the minority report

8:06PM - Did i see what i thought i saw

WOW the coolest thing happened today. For those of you how didn't i work outside most of the time, and i saw the coolest thing today, i saw an american bald eagle, it was like one of the coolest things ever. I so wish i had brought my camera to work i would so take a pic of it and post it on here.

Current mood: ditzy

Current music: i like that-chingy

8:20PM

I don't know why this song of all songs is stuck in my head but it is.


(It starts with)
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on / but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried
so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing / I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind / I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so (far)
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter


I guess i just realized that in life what you do in the end it doesn't matter.

Current mood: crappy

Current music: one week- Bare Naked Ladies

9:56PM - why did i talk to this person anyone

RoarDotCom: hmm I thought you took "no offence to it"
theeyesoflight: that was way out of line and you know it!
theeyesoflight: i mean WTF?!
RoarDotCom: you didnt have to be a bitch to mein the comment
RoarDotCom: i told you it was going to be mean
theeyesoflight: that wasn't mean, that was fucking mallichous
RoarDotCom: eh life goes on
theeyesoflight: now thanks to you "getting some" to say some stuff about jodi i have now lost a friend that i didn't want to lose
RoarDotCom: im just good at getting people back
RoarDotCom: it wasnt that much of a loss and you said so yourself
theeyesoflight: well that was before i saw the conscienquinces
theeyesoflight: and why don't you post this convo too
RoarDotCom: eh its not worth it. you can by all means
RoarDotCom: anything i say i will own up to
RoarDotCom: you should do it too
RoarDotCom: i dont talk shit about people i really care about
theeyesoflight: thats bc you were never friends with her
RoarDotCom: just think, you learned something
theeyesoflight: at a great loss
RoarDotCom: i dont become friends with people like that
RoarDotCom: i have higher standers
RoarDotCom: she was a complete bitch to me at camp
RoarDotCom: i dont put up with bull shit sorry
RoarDotCom: brb
RoarDotCom is away at 9:51:36 PM.

Current mood: crushed

Current music: none

5:26PM

If there is one thing that i am known for best it is when i have something good going for me i screw it all up.

And my recent screw up wasn't standing up for a friend and now it has costed me that friendship with that person. But for every action there is a reaction, i am in the shittest of all moods now.

i should feel more sorry about what i did, than feeling bad for myself. I hate myself for all that i did. And everyone don't talk to me.

I think i'm going to go curl up into a ball and die.

the one true song that perfectly fits this situation, is i will let you down.

8:01PM - work=blah

WOW! Who knew that work could be so hard. OH GOD I HAVE TOMORROW OFF, YES! But atleast i know that i will make more money than any of you in a week HA so take that. 400 BIG ONES BIOTCH! But the work is incrediblely hard, and strenuous.

But atleast i get a CAR! But guys i'm like so faded, and i get to work so freaking early. 7 30.......UH!


*EDIT* i think that the car that i was looking at perchasing was sold(DAMN!)

Current mood: content

Current music: harder to breathe- maroon 5

10:56PM - christians? say what?

Well today was aight, i guess.

I don't even know why i still go to church. I don't even believe in the stupid religon anymore. I guess what really did it for me was the simple fact that everyone at church, well not everyone, but almost everyone is a bunch of hypocrites, and they just go to church to hang. No one truly believes in the bullshit that they preach. And besides all the people that are the "model christians" are the ones the do some of the worst things. Its just a mest up religion. I'm sorry that people that aren't all for it are possing as if they are. I'm afraid if anyone is going to hell it'll be those people. I think thats rather sad that people who believe that they are "saved" and really aren't, they believe that they are going to heaven. Its just a sad sad case.

On the brighter side of things I just go a job!!!! Oh ya, starting pay is like 10. And in like 2 weeks i get a pretty sweet car, i don't think that things can get any better. But that car is only going to last me until i get the ultimate import, oh yes we are talking about the king of the streets, it is well ya'll will see.

I still can't get over that half of the people i know aren't true through and through. If your going to believe in something, believe in it with all your heart, not half heartedly. Thats why i stopped believing in that stuff, bc i was the very person that i hated, i was the hypocrite, i was the one that was like praise god and then go out on the weekends and get shit faced. So i picked one of the roads, and i picked the one that i thought was best, and truthfully i have been better than ever, and alot more things have been going better than i was when i believed in the fairy tales that are in the bible. I don't care what anyone thinks, well just maybe one person, but no one knows who that person is. Think what you will of me, for you see i stopped caring for everything, except for the people that i call me friends, and those people i will stand for and fight the good fight, bc in life friends and family are all you ever have. Well its late and i got to be at work at like 8 15.........BLAH, CAN ANYONE SAY STARBUCKS?

Current mood: creative

Current music: cats in the cradle- jim croche

2:15PM - What does this all mean?

I find myself distant from the crowd. I'm filled with anger, guilt, and everything that could make a person go into a depression, but why?

I am consumed by anger and yet i haven't a clue why. I wanna go on a rampage, but i alas i can't.
Alas i find myself disalutioned(is that even a word?).
I feel as though i'm trapt in a black hole, with no way out. Like quick sand, the more i try to get out, the more i get in deeper.

I need a escape from it all. I saw this commercial on T.V. where you could "win" your own island, and truthfully i have thoguht about it. And i think i'm going to go for it. Ah, the very thought of me own island, yes away from people and their problems, its just sounds to good to be true.

On the other hand(looking on the bright side here), i could be getting this totally awesome job. Yes i'll be making a killing. If i start out on what i've heard, i'll be pulling in around 1,200 a month(KICK ASS!).
And that means that i can get me long a waited sweet car, you see i got the hook up on a lot of cars, and car places. But its true i might have a way to get the sweetest car in the world! Uh man, when all ya'll see me roll up in it, your going to be OMG whos car is that, and i'll casually get out then ya'll are going to be like OMG IS THAT YOURS? And then you'll hear the sound of fainting, but please if i get this car, insurance=cost way to much. Yes for those of you who know me and know what car i think is like the sweetest in the world, you know i'm talking about.

Oh and lets not forget mike, yes, mike moltor, mister i can beat any import car with my mustang, hahahahaha ya right, with me car i'll have 321 bhp(Base Horse Power). HAHAHAHA eat my dust, ah thats put a huge smile on me own face. HMMMM, only good things could come from proving an idiot wrong, 300 and 21 BEAUTIFUL HORSES, lets not forget to give praise to the STOCK TURBOS in it, hehehehehehehe. Well i gots me somehw thats just sceaming to get done.

Current mood: artistic

Current music: she will be loved- Maroon 5

11:07PM

Wow, i've had a revelation. I'm a complete asshole. I mean, it never bothered me when people said it to me, but it like hot home tonight. I'm like the biggest ass in the world. I'm truly a pethetic loser.

I mean, come on, who gets so mad at their mom that they want to cause physical harm to her, or for that matter anyone around?
That and everyone else, i've like been a complete ass wipe(jerk). I on;y wish to get out of this terrible depression. I'm at a loss for words, for felling, or for anything at all. I'm one sad, sorry excuse of a person. I only wish to be left alone.
Why is it that when you tell people to leave you alone, that its like it doesn't compute?
From what i can gather, its bc people care. Well if they really cared they would leave you alone.

Right now i feel like i could just curl up into a ball and die right now. Without a care to the world.
I am to lonely, i wish only to find something or someone that will make me smile again, but thats a hopeless dream. i might as well believe in "God". I only wish to find happiness in life. Well i guess thats it for now.

Current mood: depressed

Current music: trouble- cold play

9:03PM

DAMN IT, DAMN IT, DAMN IT! I asked this gurl out like awhile back we just tonight talked about it tonight. AND DAMN, DAMN IT, DAMN IT! I didn't know that i could get pune from her and by golly we gotta be friends. But its cool, but OMG I'M SO NOT EVEN HAVEN A GOOD DAY. But i did get "percked" today hahaha. I jusy had to add that one. But i'm like in such a good mood right now, fucken A, i wish i so didn't find that out, uh its like made me get in a better mood, but yet i am soo sorry that i couldn't get into a realationship with her. AH, well theres other gurls that want a piece of this so i got something to look forward to. hahaha well i'm hungry later guys.